why i chose to quit my city job
Why I decided I wanted to support and build the confidence for other new mothers and how Hypnobirthing worked for me.
I was born in London at Guys Hospital and then we moved out to live in the countryside until I was in my early twenties, wasn’t maternal or not that I knew of until I looked around me and others close to me were beginning to have children. Some of my best friends had 6 year olds. London does that to you right? I was into my career and enjoying what London had to offer! Distinctly remember having a conversation with my mother from an early age and feeling freaked out. I was a difficult birth….she had a difficult time with me. She was ill after having me. I caused her pain and discomfort and she had to take medicine after having me. I remember feeling so concerned about what having a baby does to the mother.
I met my wonderful partner and a few years later fell pregnant and kind of thought how I the world am I going to have this baby!? Began freaking out big time and was absolutely terrified. I met a friend client who did the very rare thing of telling me her positive birth story which was that she was doing this thing called ‘Hypnobirthing’ in her past pregnancy and she had given birth while taking two paracetamols…..seriously? I couldn’t quite work this out but needed to read this book and take this course that she had taken. Marie Mongan. My world changed….i was obsessed with reading this book and listening to the download.
IT WAS MY EVENING RELAXATION AND AS WELL AS ALSO FEELING THAT IT CONNECTED ME WITH MY BABY I FELT ALL OF A SUDDEN STRONGER, MORE KNOWLEDGEABLE AND CAN HONESTLY SAY ‘I CAN DO THIS’ THAT WAS HOW I FELT.
I LOVED THE CHANGE IN VOCABULARY AND THIS IS SOMETHING I REMEMBER FEELING FROM AN EARLY STAGE THAT MY MIND VERY QUICKLY TOOK ON THE NEW SOFTER AND ‘UNMEDICAL’ VOCABULARY.
Labour with my first began and I remember feeling as if I had a little tummy pain and yep, needed the loo – (clear out) I then found it slightly uncomfortable to lay down so for the next few hours walked around, had a wonderful long shower which was when my uterine seal came away and we knew then labour was beginning. I used my pregnancy yoga practice to feel more comfortable and to help with babys descent. I was feeling pretty good almost like I was winning! I was actually enjoying the surges and dare I say the power I felt with my other half being there for me to lean on. We began timing the surges which began every 15 minutes and then in the space of 3 hours were down to every 3 minutes. We called triage but even at that stage felt we would be sent home. I remember what we were wearing and that it was 3.15am and we both had a giggle about that being our outfits to bring our baby home in.
When we arrived at the birth centre the lovely but busy midwife had to rush off to be with another lady so put us into our birthing suite which was quite lovely really. The surges were coming quicker and stronger but I was still really enjoying the sensation of the pressure with every surge. I had my own way of dealing with them and had practised the calm breathing and surge breathing while being in the class and my own practice at home. When the midwife returned she said oh I had better check you and she asked me how far I thought I was ‘dilated’ we all focus on this word….the dreaded ‘you are only’ or ‘you are just’ anyway when she examined me she was slightly put aback to find I was 9cm open and that we were going to meet our baby very soon. We moved around and used the positions we had practiced and concentrated on our breathing while playing our rainbow relaxation in the background.
The midwife filled up the water and we had a bit of time in the birth pool waiting for my birth surges to arrive. I remember wondering how would I feel and how would I know when to ‘push’ and the midwife just said don’t worry you will know. Low and behold when Flora was ready to make her arrival I did know about it. I had the most amazing and overwhelming urge to bear down and ‘push’ after a little while we realised that she was indeed back to back and was having a little bit of a struggle with turning that corner in the birth path. In retrospect, I think it could have been much calmer in a way as just the dreaded word where you are pushing with all of your might and your eyeballs feel like they are about to burst. She was coming anyway, I was breathing and still felt incredibly calm only at one point asking my husband not to speak to me as I didn’t want to hear his voice…..thats not so bad we decided afterwards.
FLORA ARRIVED AFTER 7 HOURS FROM MY FIRST SURGE AND IT WAS A GREAT EXPERIENCE OVERALL.
With my second, it was a whole different story. I had been 2cm open for a few weeks with her bearing down on my cervix giving me a little bit of discomfort when walking towards the end of my pregnancy with her. When Rosie decided the time was right she began to arrive over a filet o fish in Maccy Ds with my mum….my first feeling of feeling a tad bit icky was around 2.15pm. Text Dominic at 2.30pm to come home as I felt as though she was going to arrive. At .2.50pm he had a message to say don’t come home go straight to hospital. He arrived there at 3.45 I wasn’t checked until 5pm after quietly standing n the corridor at triage against the wall labouring and breathing through each surge which was coming every 1-2 minutes. I was so relaxed and calm that the midwives wouldn’t have known just how far along I was. I remember my mum running up the corridor and saying she is going to have the baby in the toilet if you don’t take her somewhere and so off I went and dear little Rosie arrived very calmly with my membranes releasing around her just before she was born. Such a wonderful and empowering experience. I really feel we need to do it again but, don't tell Dominic!
My background is new business development so something very different to hypnobirthing however, through my own experience of people sharing unwanted and negative birth experiences and the fear I felt before I found hypnorbithing I felt that it was something I wanted to do to make a difference and to help other expectant mothers and partners to feel more confident and knowledgeable.
I also study breastfeeding to volunteer and help women who are feeling isolated and so upset if they are having issues with breastfeeding. We all must be non judegmental as everyone has their own experience and their own idea of how they want to be the best mother they can. I just want them to feel happier and to not be fearful.